MoHow Posted By Dr. MO As I mentioned yesterday, no matter how much organization we create in our lives, there will always be things that we cannot control, and if we let them, these things can be a huge source of anger, frustration and stress. The simple solution, that leads to increased well-being, is learning how to Ride The Wave.
For example, let’s say you’ve made plans for dinner with your family. You’ve prepared the meal, the table is set, and you are looking forward to a happy time with your children and grand children. And then, an hour before their planned arrival, there is a torrential rain, the highways are flooded, and no-one is able to make it.
You become upset. You’re frustrated, because you didn’t get be with your loved ones. You feel aggravated because all the work you’ve done has come to naught. It ruins your evening and you are angry all night.
Not the best way to respond, is it? And yet if we are honest, most of us have problems like this, with things that disrupt how we like things, with life when it doesn’t go the way we want it to go.
What does Riding The Wave mean? It’s rolling with the punches, accepting change without getting angry or frustrated. It’s taking what life gives you, rather than thinking that life has to be exactly as you want it to be for you to be okay. It’s making the best of anything.
In today’s post I am sharing 6 more of the ways I approach life. I’m learning as I go, and feeling better as I learn to be more embracing in my attitude. Here are the ways of thinking and responding for you to consider.
1. Laugh. It helps me to see things as funny, rather than frustrating. Car broke down in the middle of traffic and I have no cell phone or spare tire? Laugh at my own ill-preparedness. Laugh at the absurdity of the situation. That requires a certain amount of detachment, you can laugh at the situation if you’re above it, but not within it. And that detachment is a good thing. When you learn to laugh at things, you’ve come a long way. Laugh even if you don’t think it’s funny, it will lighten your mood.
2. Journal. This is one of the best uses of a journal. Once a day, recall what you are learning about your thinking patterns by tracking your thoughts, and then write about those situations in a journal, or you use the Mopad journaling tool on the www.maintainmomentum.com website . Why did you get upset? What did you do? Did it work, and if not, why not? What can you do next time? This kind of recollection and examination, after the fact, will help you learn from the process.
3. Meditate. If you aren’t good at keeping a journal, at least do a daily review in your head. Do some meditation, or have a bath, or a cup of hot tea, and as you’re de-stressing, go over your day and examine it. Don’t get frustrated; you’re learning. Do some deep breathing, and then go over each situation, tseeing it as a detached observer. This kind of review will help you improve in the learning process.
4. Accept that you can’t control others. We get frustrated with other people, because they don’t act the way we want them to act. Maybe it’s our children, maybe it’s our spouse or significant other, maybe it’s our coworker or boss, maybe it’s our mom or best friend. We have to realize that they are acting according to their beliefs and habits, according to what they feel is right, and they are not necessarily going to do what we want all of the time. We have to accept that. Accept that we can’t control them, accept them for who they are, accept the things they do. It’s not easy; it takes practice.
5. Accept change and imperfection. When things go the way we want them, we usually don’t want them to change. But sometimes things change. It’s a fact of life. We cannot keep things the way we want them to be forever; instead, it’s better to learn to accept things as they are. Accept that the world is constantly changing, and we are a part of that change. Also, instead of wanting things to be “perfect”, let’s be happier with what is.
6. Enjoy the ride of change, chaos and beauty. See the world as perfect the way it is. It’s messy, chaotic, painful, sad, dirty, sometimes … and completely perfect. The world is beautiful, just as it is. Life is not something static, it’s a wave, a flow of change, never staying the same, always beautiful. There is beauty in everything around us, if that’s what we look for.
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