MoHow Posted By Dr. MO Do you identify with the following situation?
You are feeling upset. Your upset is overwhelming you and you can’t get it out of your mind.
How about this advice from people who want to help you?
“Just let go!” It’s the common entreaty… “forget about it…don’t focus on it, move on to something else.” Much easier said than done..
I have another suggestion, if the common one has not worked for you. The suggestion is to embrace your feelings. Here are 5 ways for you to think and deal differently with upsets.
1. Accept your feelings.
What does this mean? This can mean different things to different people; what it means to me is to stay present with your uncomfortable feelings instead of running from, or trying to make them disappear. Instead, really feel those difficult emotions. Observe them. Don’t fear them or seek to hide from them. Rather, live with them and learn from them, knowing that the time you spend doing this will help to heal you. When you do this with serenity, as much as you can muster, you will discover your strength and over time you will notice the bad feelings start to soften and melt.
2. Give yourself time. Depending on the circumstances, this can take quite a bit of time or it can work in an afternoon. The main thing to remember is not to rush it. Have faith and know that through acceptance you will feel better.. Be patient with yourself and with the process.
3. How to embrace. Here are some questions and thoughts for you as you work to be more accepting of your negative feelings.
• Why does this feel bad?
• What am I really feeling right now? What is the essence of this feeling?
• As an observer, this is interesting.
• How would an outsider describe this?
• Why do I want to run away from this?
• What can I do to change my perspective of this?
• What can I learn from these feelings?
• I can handle this.
• I can be at peace with this emotion passing through me.
• I’m not running from this and I’m also not attached to it.
• There is something to be learned from this.
• There is purpose in this. What is that purpose?
• I know I will discover the purpose.
• I am being strengthened by this to feel about the situation.
4. Examples of situations where acceptance can be very helpful.
• Feeling frustrated with habit change
• Feeling anger after a conflict or fight
• Feeling grief after losing a loved one
• Anxiety and worry
5. Digest what is on your plate. “Embracing” means being present with your difficult feelings, accepting them as “comes withe the territory, and living life. A big part of healing is to live life, to be active, and engaged. If you are in the throes of grief, obviously you should take things slowly. Listen to what your body and mind tell you to do. Be active in small ways at first. This is not to eliminate your feelings; rather it’s to give you the physical strength and the mental perspective that will help you be present with your feelings and heal. It’s about regaining balance. Take the time to experience and take the time to continue to live your life.
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